You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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