Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.

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  (330): I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome. http://tfl.nu/21pe
  Replies (22) Good night (29118) Bad night (1130)
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  (510): View more from California

  just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?

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  (510): just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction? http://tfl.nu/bfa1
  Replies (16) Good night (848) Bad night (1853)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door

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  (413): Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door http://tfl.nu/oj7i
  Replies (57) Good night (1506) Bad night (9671)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...

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  (717): and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived... http://tfl.nu/vut2
  Replies (11) Good night (2184) Bad night (3788)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success

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  (845): Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success http://tfl.nu/8g5x
  Replies (12) Good night (4196) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week

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  (973): i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week http://tfl.nu/mj5j
  Replies (7) Good night (1063) Bad night (2530)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.

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  (815): walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/3jcw
  Replies (5) Good night (2365) Bad night (1035)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.

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  (210): I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be. http://tfl.nu/9s9m
  Replies (1) Good night (1639) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.

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  (910): I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand. http://tfl.nu/jlfn
  Replies (23) Good night (808) Bad night (3146)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy

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  (413): She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy http://tfl.nu/8tz5
  Replies (1) Good night (693) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager

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  (705): I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager http://tfl.nu/uera
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (396)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?

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  (902): Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"? http://tfl.nu/mn11
  Replies (3) Good night (621) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol

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  (610): I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol http://tfl.nu/5mb9
  Replies (4) Good night (373) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.

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  (336): I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can. http://tfl.nu/mx39
  Replies (1) Good night (238) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...

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  (484): I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata... http://tfl.nu/0hr1
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (258)

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