Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.

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  (213): I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian. http://tfl.nu/zael
  Replies (10) Good night (1351) Bad night (539)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?

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  (512): HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter? http://tfl.nu/9l91
  Replies (22) Good night (593) Bad night (2445)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  she smelled like a LAN party

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  (360): she smelled like a LAN party http://tfl.nu/lit3
  Replies (35) Good night (971) Bad night (4377)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads

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  (617): Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads http://tfl.nu/gove
  Replies (41) Good night (11935) Bad night (1151)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?

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  (402): Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy? http://tfl.nu/i95d
  Replies (276) Good night (4303) Bad night (27192)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.

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  (678): If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class. http://tfl.nu/m667
  Replies (20) Good night (4414) Bad night (815)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with

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  (410): She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with http://tfl.nu/po8c
  Replies (24) Good night (7128) Bad night (2152)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I drank myself into bisexuality again.

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  (314): I drank myself into bisexuality again. http://tfl.nu/eg45
  Replies (16) Good night (6192) Bad night (1240)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.

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  (816): no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help. http://tfl.nu/7acp
  Replies (7) Good night (2452) Bad night (897)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.

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  (740): Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever. http://tfl.nu/lye3
  Replies (8) Good night (2053) Bad night (688)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.

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  (613): You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw. http://tfl.nu/41w7
  Replies (10) Good night (1551) Bad night (1032)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"

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  (502): I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink" http://tfl.nu/1myn
  Replies (5) Good night (2314) Bad night (648)
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  (+97): View more from

  Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.

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  (+97): Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer. http://tfl.nu/wfti
  Replies (8) Good night (1629) Bad night (480)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you

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  (503): So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you http://tfl.nu/f848
  Replies (6) Good night (1792) Bad night (461)
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  (424): View more from California

  I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn

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  (424): I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn http://tfl.nu/bfkb
  Replies (3) Good night (385) Bad night (192)

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