All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
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I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.