The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
