there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.