Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"

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  (440): so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport" http://tfl.nu/at20
  Replies (10) Good night (3141) Bad night (605)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.

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  (501): thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control. http://tfl.nu/7f4i
  Replies (70) Good night (1040) Bad night (2762)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.

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  (251): He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me. http://tfl.nu/9j20
  Replies (58) Good night (3918) Bad night (677)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...

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  (440): i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night... http://tfl.nu/6z7m
  Replies (2) Good night (3140) Bad night (767)
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  (562): View more from California

  My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.

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  (562): My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me. http://tfl.nu/w036
  Replies (5) Good night (993) Bad night (2385)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.

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  (717): Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea. (717): OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED. http://tfl.nu/n4s9
  Replies (7) Good night (3250) Bad night (766)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.

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  (817): Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24. http://tfl.nu/4goe
  Replies (5) Good night (1397) Bad night (716)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.

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  (602): As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by. (208): I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby. http://tfl.nu/looi
  Replies (7) Good night (1642) Bad night (692)
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  (1954): View more from

  You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday

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  (1954): You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday http://tfl.nu/byqw
  Replies (9) Good night (1901) Bad night (471)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"

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  (781): BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin" http://tfl.nu/ul1h
  Replies (14) Good night (451) Bad night (813)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?

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  (612): There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night? http://tfl.nu/9ive
  Replies (6) Good night (1057) Bad night (202)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.

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  (405): Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick. http://tfl.nu/t0hp
  Replies (6) Good night (902) Bad night (263)
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  (925): View more from California

  You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub

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  (925): You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub http://tfl.nu/o6o5
  Replies (0) Good night (324) Bad night (145)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.

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  (713): walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain. http://tfl.nu/bj1a
  Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (223)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that

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  (713): You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that http://tfl.nu/hi6n
  Replies (5) Good night (170) Bad night (441)

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