What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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