so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
