well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
