I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Two words: nipple clamps
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