so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
