the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
