I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
