we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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