I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize