I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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