i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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