Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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