after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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