we're blogging at a bar
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
