If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
