you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
