Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize