The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule