he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs