Your face is a jimmy john
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
