The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament