When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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