The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
