You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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