I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The struggles of a small town man whore
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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