So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just pee around me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
