You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
