I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
