He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
