Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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