i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
