and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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