Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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