we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize