the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize