you would pick up someone in the library
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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