who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
