you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
