Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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