actually, I'm a sock model
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
