I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
