I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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