this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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