Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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