is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
