If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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