therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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