his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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