May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
