He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize