Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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