OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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