we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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