Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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